I practiced dying in front of the bathroom mirror,
clutching my throat, or holding my gut
where an assassin’s bullet lodged—
my face a mask of premeditated horror.
Neighbors whispered their aversion from the other side
of the picket fence, as my mother draped me in fabric
stolen from Goodwill & swore I was destined
for a life in the theatre, like Abe Lincoln or Moliere.
When I was in kindergarten, a troop of actors appeared
at my school. As the hero began his soliloquy
I sprang from my chair & shouted Chop his head off!
The auditorium fell silent. I felt my teacher
grab my left arm, the principal my right.
Still, I remained steadfast, bowing
& gesticulating to my classmates
as I was dragged away, certain, even then,
that the only good hero was a dead one.
Published in Cider Press Review, Volume 25, Issue 1.
Jason Irwin is the author of the three full-length poetry collections, most recently The History of Our Vagrancies (Main Street Rag, 2020). He was a 2022 Zoeglossia Fellow and has also had nonfiction published in various journals including the Santa Ana Review, & The Catholic Worker. He lives in Pittsburgh, PA USA. www.jasonirwin.blogspot.com
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