He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse,
and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her.
—Numbers 5:24
The backpack balances my baby bump
as I hump up the hill seeking grit, some sense
that whatever kicks in after this I can keep the
swirl and knit of my muscle, my skin––the heave
and beat of my body in height. Oh, West
Virginia, mountain mama, worn clean
out––I’ve come back to your shoulders,
slumped from eyebrow to thigh by time
and by violence. I strain for the ridge. I feel
the flex in my hips with each step, but force
my ache up your slope. I’ve been reading about
you, once-and-again home ground. I’ve read
about billions of cubic meters of mountain
blasted in air. The rubble, the carbonate stone
that settles against headwaters. I should not
care. We should no longer know each other.
I’ve unlearned the slurs you nursed in my
voice. I’ve thrust new clean sharp words
into heights you ain’t seen for millennia . . . but
you know why I’m back. My body is bare in its
need for forgiveness. I squat, again, beside a cautious
sassafras. Pee. Zip up. Check the press of the
rest of my life. It stirs. I care. I have enough
here to raise a child, provided I live “back home”
where the bombs bury water. Provided I keep my head
high through the flow of ex-friends, from church
to football game and back. Their kids are a decade
ahead of mine, or three decades behind. Here comes
that word I learned–overburden. I don’t want
my body mixed up with yours. But it is. The steep
and holler, the hot core that clawed ancient
ways into thin rare air. The wear-down, the
tear-apart . . . and how will I fare when this
next tear comes? I’m afraid of it all. The women,
the water. The blast that will open me, wrench
my body out––and down, and down, and down.
Published in Cider Press Review, Volume 24, Issue 1.
Talley V. Kayser directs the The Pennsylvania State University’s Adventure Literature program, where she teaches college courses that combine literary study with outdoor expeditions. Her prose and poetry have appeared in High Desert Journal, Alpinist, The Fourth River, and elsewhere. Read more at www.talleyvkayser.com.See all items about Talley V. Kayser
